On Solange's A Seat At The Table, A Conversation Resumed.

     Solange's A Seat At The Table continued the conversation on being Black and female in America that Lauryn Hill started eighteen years prior.  It was a timely digest on how to make sense of what we felt about all of the experiences we had been having and witnessing others have- since the period of time in a America that provoked The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, which was dropped in 1998.  Like Ms. Hill, Solange answered the call to give an empowering, chin lifting and Synclaire James-esque "Woo, woo, woo" to our sisters during a tumultuous climate in the U.S. This is an atmosphere that is a result of going through stress at home, while feeling the pain and hearing the cries from our sisters around the world.  She got on her knees with us, put her arms around those who were ready to stand and whispered affirmations and prayers with those whose legs had finally given in to the weight laid on their backs from day to day. As I listened to the lyrics of Cranes in the Sky and Mad and the interludes featuring Master P., I felt that the table I was sitting in was located in the cafeteria of the school that the students featured in the interludes of Lauryn Hill's album were attending at that time.

      While Lauryn stood up in class and dared to be the one to speak up during a post Civil Rights, post War on Drugs era, when doing that was a bit taboo, Solange saw us- sitting around screaming over each other, crying and banging our heads on the table, turned on the music and allowed us women, alongside our men, to have a therapy session.  There were no specific remedies or calls to action other than to be Black and unabashed and unashamed every day moving forward.  Lauryn reminded us that we were more than what we were being, what we were seeing, what we were experiencing in the environments shaped by decades of disenfranchisement and miseducation.  Solange met us on the brink of the sadness and depression that our ancestors- brought into slavery and mistreated because of their beautiful dark hue, might have felt and reminded us to love who we are, even when it seems that no one else ever will.

      I love a good book.  I also consume documentaries like they're the last cup of spring water on a hot day in July, but the music sinks into my blood and bumps to my heart. The vibes permeate through the air around me long after the songs have stopped playing.  I played The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill on loop, almost every day.  I was about twelve when it debuted.  I was on my way to making a new transition in my life as a teenager.  I would be looking at boys a little longer, deciding what I wanted my personal style to be and ultimately begin thinking about who I wanted to become.  For a girl in the hood, in a horrible school district, with little around to inspire or develop my creativity or my sheer will to be somebody, Hill's album was right on time.  It's a classic album that speaks to my thirty year old self, as much as, the 12 year old, pre-social media child I was in the late nineties.

      I have three children, two of them are boys.  As a mother, I was holding my breath, taking big gulps, sighing and kicking walls just thinking about the hail storm that I had brought my babies into. Solange tapped me on the shoulder and brought my attention to my emotions that I tried to hide at times. She ensured me that I could have those feelings and that I could also prosper, hold my head up and charge toward the future with a purpose and also with pride.  YES! We are Black in America and what that means is we can and will survive whatever is thrown our way.

      We have to keep the conversation going and add some action (there are so many things to do, on so many levels, in so many areas and we are so capable) and a lot more love and compassion to it during the times ahead. While each person chooses what role they will play in the evolution of our people, let's be each other's peace.  Let the wisdom of Lauryn and the nurturing of Solange be some of what we bring to the table, from now until we win.

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Email: msfridaynights@gmail.com.
Twitter, Facebook and Instagram:@Msfridaynights.

2016: The Year of Chill

     Today I am overjoyed.  As 2016 comes to a close, I have been reflecting on the layers of unconditional love I have been cloaked in- all year long.  It has been a year of many battles on a physical, mental and spiritual level.  From all that comes with welcoming a new baby into the world and being diagnosed with a diet related disease all while being a home educator, wife and a financially miseducated millennial; I should be worn thinner than mummy bandages.  However, I'm good.

     It has been a peaceful year.  I made the choice to do a lot of falling back, which is in part, quite natural to me but in other respects, extremely difficult and uncharacteristic.  I am a proactive, take charge kind of woman who is also a laid-back hippy (without the assistance of drugs).  If there is a word for that, I'm not sure what it is but that's me.  I tapped into that hippy side a lot more this year, in that, I just let go.

     As much as I was frustrated and at times felt like I MUST do something, I could not physically bring myself to move.  Instead, in the midst of all of the noise, I had to listen to that quiet voice within that said, "Chill."  And so I did.  The results, have transformed, even elevated my way of thinking and my spirit.

     There has been one question in my mind, what have you learned from this?  I have learned that my world will not explode if I watch rather than do.  I've learned that sometimes, I just need more information and that things happen so that I can get that information.  I've learned that although I am imperfect, there is a divine perfection at work within me at all times.  Those lessons have brought me to a place of gladness today.

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Email: msfridaynights@gmail.com.
Twitter, Facebook and Instagram:@Msfridaynights.

Appealing To The Best, Most Powerful Sides Of Who We Are.

     I think that some of us, women, run into problems in our relationships because we have not owned the best parts of who we are.  Who we are spans from ourselves to our mothers to our grandmothers to their mothers and so forth, with the collective wisdom gained through each of those individual life experiences. There is a narrative of inherent weakness and uncontrollable emotional ineptitude among women that does not represent, in truth, who we are, what we are and why we are.  For those reasons, we live out our daily lives in a functionally delusional state of being- which we call happiness, that this mindset affords us.

      We spend time, subconsciously or otherwise, recreating what seems to be the worst experiences of our mothers. Although we struggle a bit differently than them, we never evolve.  We aren't leaving any emotional wisdom for our daughters to build upon and use to triumph in their relationships with themselves, with men, with other women or even with nature.  Instead, we carry on the lie that there is always some battle to which we should suffer and sacrifice ourselves for while draining out all of our strength without ever fully replenishing.  It has to stop.

      If love, as you'd hoped it to be, appears to be a myth, expand your knowledge of love.  Spend more time outside of the experiences that you have with other people with the objective of growing because of it, rather than despite it.  What is a weed in relation to a flower?  Competition.  We have let the weeds within us grow for too long and with each new season, less flowers bloom and less fruit grows.  What might happen if you make it your your business to expand the best parts of you? I believe it's possible to live in a way that doesn't leave this earth bare overtaken by the imbalance of bitterness, insecurity, desperation and disappointment.

      We do not arrive as empty vessels.  We are full of all those things passed on to us.  You can do more than survive a situation, you have the gift of intuition.  You can navigate your way around potential heartache and unnecessary conflicts.  You don't have to experience everything firsthand to learn from it.  It's time to leave a legacy of bliss, joy and happiness along with triumph without battle scars.

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Email: msfridaynights@gmail.com.
Twitter, Facebook and Instagram:@Msfridaynights.

An Introduction of Sorts.

     At a time when it seems that so many are driven to be fast moving go-getters,  late night grinders,  paper stackers and independent- empire building, influencers, I just want to be a good mom, read books and author at least ONE novel in this lifetime!  Gah, the pressure is always on to do more though.  How I am supposed to get anything of substance out of life while trying to do and be it all?

      I have concluded that living that way is not for me.  People may laugh or scoff at my audacity to be no one and at times, do what appears to be nothing and I am okay with letting them.  The last time I checked, I am not a twin.  I came here alone to live out this experience, exercising my own free will.

      To be clear, I see the virtue in having a goal and pursuing it.  I do not see the virtue in having a goal that is not of your own- meaning someone fed you an idea and you adopted it as your own because you see them as an authority of some sort.  The only good that can come out of drag and drop living is learning that you are better off taking the time and putting forth the effort to pursue what you believe is right for you.  "Put some respek on" your ability to think for yourself.

      Also, as a homeschooling parent, piling on task after task seems to contradict the purpose of home education.  I am in favor of an organic approach to education where the ultimate goal is gradual self-mastery.  I take that same approach to living life in general.  Goal setting can be arbitrary if you don't first set customized standards.  So where does that leave me?

      The weird thing about trying to predict the future is that no one knows what's going to happen until they get there.  Rather than beat myself in the head with thoughts of things to come,  I cling to what I have in front of and within me now.  This is life, today, a tomorrowless journey best approached with a spirit of gratitude.

      Now that I have that off of my chest, here's what this blog is really about, for now.  Ms. Friday Nights is untamed, unabashed creative expression.  At times, thought provoking amusement.  Some fun.  Some entertainment.  If you're into that sort of thing, good.  If not, also good- I'm up for the challenge of changing your mind.

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Email: msfridaynights@gmail.com.
Twitter, Facebook and Instagram:@Msfridaynights.