I think that some of us, women, run into problems in our relationships because we have not owned the best parts of who we are. Who we are spans from ourselves to our mothers to our grandmothers to their mothers and so forth, with the collective wisdom gained through each of those individual life experiences. There is a narrative of inherent weakness and uncontrollable emotional ineptitude among women that does not represent, in truth, who we are, what we are and why we are. For those reasons, we live out our daily lives in a functionally delusional state of being- which we call happiness, that this mindset affords us.
We spend time, subconsciously or otherwise, recreating what seems to be the worst experiences of our mothers. Although we struggle a bit differently than them, we never evolve. We aren't leaving any emotional wisdom for our daughters to build upon and use to triumph in their relationships with themselves, with men, with other women or even with nature. Instead, we carry on the lie that there is always some battle to which we should suffer and sacrifice ourselves for while draining out all of our strength without ever fully replenishing. It has to stop.
If love, as you'd hoped it to be, appears to be a myth, expand your knowledge of love. Spend more time outside of the experiences that you have with other people with the objective of growing because of it, rather than despite it. What is a weed in relation to a flower? Competition. We have let the weeds within us grow for too long and with each new season, less flowers bloom and less fruit grows. What might happen if you make it your your business to expand the best parts of you? I believe it's possible to live in a way that doesn't leave this earth bare overtaken by the imbalance of bitterness, insecurity, desperation and disappointment.
We do not arrive as empty vessels. We are full of all those things passed on to us. You can do more than survive a situation, you have the gift of intuition. You can navigate your way around potential heartache and unnecessary conflicts. You don't have to experience everything firsthand to learn from it. It's time to leave a legacy of bliss, joy and happiness along with triumph without battle scars.
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Email: msfridaynights@gmail.com.
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